Jokes

Post your best Joke here... kahit anu basta... patok!!!

Enjoy

Different prayers of single women...
At Age 15: Lord, give me SuperMAN.
At Age 18: Lord, give me a cute MAN.
At Age 20: Lord, give me the best MAN
At Age 30: Lord, give me a good MAN
At Age 40: Lord, give me a MAN.
At Age 50: Lord, give me sinoMAN.
At Age 60: Lord, maawa ka naMAN.
At Age 70: Lord, kaya ko pa naMAN.
At Age 80: Lord, kahit hipo MAN lang

pumasok ang isang bata sa loob ng simbahan, kumuha ng CANDLE lumuhod at nag dasal
Bata = "Papa Jesus sana po bigyan nyo ako ng bike yung red"

after a weak: walang nangyari
nagdasal siyang muli ng may hawak na ROSARY + CANDLE lumuhod at nag dasal
Bata = "Papa Jesus gustong gusto ko po talaga ng bike kahit inde na red"

after a weak: walang nangyari
nagdasal siya na may hawak na mama Mary + Hammer
bata = "Papa Jesus kung gusto mo pang makitang buo ang nanay mo ibigay mo yung bike na hinihingi ko!!!

BATA: pabili po ng ubas...
TINDERO: wala kame ubas...

next day...

BATA: pabili po ng ubas...
TINDERO: wala kame ubas...

next day...

BATA: pabili po ng ubas...
TINDERO: wala nga kame ubas eh... isa pang magtanong ka, iistapler q yang bibig mo...

next day...

BATA: may stapler kayo?
TINDERO: wala, baket?

BATA: pabili nga po ng ubas...

bibili si inday ng sandals nang biglang napautot sya "poooooT"...

unti
unting tumingin sa likod si inday baka may naka rinig sa utot nya at
nagulat sya na may salesman pala... kaya nag patay malisya na lang sya
at nag tanong...

Inday: Magkano po ang sapatos na ito?

Salesman: Nakow eh nahawakan nyo pangalang nautot na kayo, pag narinig nyo ang presyo sigurado matatae na kayo....

DAD: anak bili mo ako ng softdrinx

ANAK: coke o pepsi?

D: coke

A: Diet o Regular?

D: reguLar

A: bote o can?

D: bote

A: 8oz o litrO?

D: PUNYETA! 2big nLNg!

A: n2raL o mineraL?

D: mineraL

A: malamig o hindi?

D: hampasin kaya kita ng waLis?

A: tambO o ting2?

D: animaL ka!

A: baka o babOy?

D: layas!

A: naun o bukas?

D: naun !

A: ha2tid mo ako o ndi?

D: ptayin kea kita?

A: sa saksak o b2ariLin?

D: babarilin

A: s ulo o tiyan?

D: peste!

A: ipis o daga?

D: ngee!

phapu: CORNEY!

(From stand-up comedy, dunno if it translates well, it did for me though)

Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.

I went to the doctor, all he did was suck blood from my neck.
Do not go see Dr. Acula.

Bananas are kinda the opposite of traffic lights. For a traffic light,
green means go, and yellow means slow down. But with a banana green
means hold on, and yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell
did you get that banana?

question: bakit hinihila ang tali???












cge try mo itulak...hahaha...

nice 1 jhen!